December Newsletter

I believe the youngsters write abbreviated exclamations these days and one that I might use when I realise that it is December already is WTAF! Where did this year go? 

During December I will be performing Christmas storytelling shows at the following venues:

Library of Birmingham, 2pm-3pm Saturdays 2nd/9th/16th/23rd

Malt Cross, Nottingham (A Christmas Carol and Finding Scrooge), 2pm-4pm Sundays 3rd/10th/17th

Beamish Museum, County Durham (A Christmas Carol) Thursday and Friday 7th/8th/14th/15th/21st/22nd

Also on a festive note, I have released some more audio books:

A Christmas Story Collection available from here

Christmas Day in the Workhouse (poem by George Robert Sims) available from here

The third in the trilogy, Yet Another Ka3oo Christmas with Steve Oliver is the soundtrack to your present opening morning and the festive lunch and it is available from here.

There is another album coming out soon when Nottingham band Lorna release a new musical version of A Christmas Carol that I have done the spoken word for. My part was recorded on a hot day in June. 

Looking at my to-do list for the year that I wrote in January, I have hardly managed to accomplish any of it and it is mainly due to funding issues. Crowd funding only works as a two way street, you have to donate in order for me to create things. After I have created the thing, be it a podcast, music video, comedy sketch or whatever, I will make it available online completely free of charge. Everyone is a winner. It is worth pointing out that I am providing you with a weekly new music podcast, a monthly audio podcast of The Random Sessions, a weekly Random Sessions video, the occasional comedy sketch and other stuff besides. All this content is free and the reason I have upped my output by re-releasing new versions of the live performances on my radio show under the title The Sunday Alternative Radio Sessions among other things is to further encourage donations to help me make bigger and better things. Aside from documentaries and comedy, with more money feeding into the PayPal account I can start to look at more ambitious projects.

My traditional hourly update tweets on the Sunday the clocks change went ahead, but I was disappointed that I didn't sell more advertising as I thought that I was on to a good idea. The money I would have made from a full weekend of sponsored tweets would have helped me finish a low budget film which would have gone out for free after a round of film festivals. Alas, thanks to yet again coming up with an idea that people don't quite understand has been my downfall. Hopefully I can get small businesses to understand by the time the clocks go forward.

With Christmas on the way, if you have not donated before then why not make a Christmas present? It all helps towards the cause and helps entertain everybody who wants to be entertained, so if everyone who reads this newsletter donates a throwaway amount, say a pound or a fiver, then you will be helping a great deal. 

I have some plans already made for 2018 and will continue to provide free entertainment. During the first few months of the year I will be plundering my archive and making some hitherto unseen footage available on YouTube and making new stuff alongside it. However, there are some things that need a serious injection of money so although nothing I intend to make is massively big-budget, I can't make it for nothing. Everyone will get the opportunity to see it for free and you could play a part in that so please remember me during your Christmas generosity - you tip the postman and the binmen after all so think of it that way. 

Merry Christmas and here's to our collaboration coming to fruition at last.

Bonus newsletter - advertising opportunity.

A traditional event that I am fond of has achieved cult status is my helpful tweets during the Sunday that the clocks have changed.

This year I have decided to expand this to the Saturday too ('this time tomorrow it will be...') for a special reason. Sunday Alternative Productions is a production company that cares little for profit. In return for donations I release everything online totally free of charge, donations however sometimes take a dip and an occasional boost is needed. Therefore I have decide to allow sponsorship of these legendary time checks to raise funds.

Underneath the line 'this time tomorrow it will be...' (Saturday 28th October) and 'in real life, it is...' (Sunday 29th October) I will mention your business along with your website and a few details, within 140 characters of course, and a photo.

All you have to do is make a donation via the PayPal button at the top of the page in the first instance (£10 per tweet - or more if you wish) and in the notes say a little bit about your business/band/service and leave the rest to me. I will dedicate the weekend to making sure that I post hourly between 9am-midnight on both days, although I can't purely for the sake of fairness reserve or guarantee a specific time (unless you really want a specific time in which case please negotiate and I will for a higher fee).

You can of course buy more than one time check, obviously at a tenner each time this is amazing value for money. This is ideal for independent businesses who don't have the advertising budget that the big corporations have, and also for bands with an album or tour to plug.

There are thirty tweets available (15 on each day of clock change weekend) so it is a good idea to get in quick.

All the money generated once every slot is filled will go into making a low budget film that has been on the cards for too long, a short thriller made as a homage to Alfred Hitchcock. Once it has done the rounds of film festivals it will of course be released on my official YouTube channel for everyone to enjoy.

Thank you in advance for joining me in this venture.

September Newsletter

Officially the first photograph of me as a 41 year old (I'm the one on the left)

September, back to school! Where is the time going? August was a bit of a let down as the campaign to lose the word 'underfollowed' from my Twitter bio didn't come to any satisfactory conclusion. So if you are wondering why someone of my standing has so few followers, the answer is still one of resounding confusion. Another let down was the donations, of course I appreciate the ones I get but nowhere near enough to do anything useful with for the time being. It is starting to baffle me that people manage to get things done with crowd funding as it seems to me that people don't understand the concept. By making a donation you are helping to create something that will be available for free for everyone to enjoy, what's not to like or understand?

Thanks to this drought of donations it looks unlikely that some of the more ambitious projects will see the light of day before the end of this year. This basically means that apart from The Random Sessions there won't be any more filmed items until 2018. I have several projects ready so please donate what you can. There are some other ways to help raise money too, all of which goes into the creative fund.

News

The Sunday Alternative podcast is still dropping every weekend for free, and I am still releasing Random Sessions videos on a weekly basis along with occasional video blogs. All of these are free and your donations help to keep them going so please click that button at the top of the page. When you go out for a drink, have one less and donate the price of a pint and it soon adds up. 

I will be once again missing the final Sunday of Goose Fair to host The Sunday Alternative stage at the Hockley Hustle on Sunday October 8th. If you're going I'll see you at Bunkers Hill, if you're not going then please remember to only buy mushy peas at the proper stall. 

I am not on the judging panel of Notts Factor this year as they are going for 'new blood', so this year's judges will presumably all be people who have never judged it before. Apparently there were complaints about my conduct last year which have only come to light recently but apart from occasionally swearing when there were children present (in a licenced premises on a Sunday night, great parenting there) I think I was okay. However I am cool with this and wish all the best of luck to those who enter. 

If I can get ready in time, I am going to attempt to make a short film at Goose Fair. Obviously I haven't got long though so this might be stretched out and continued/finished next year.

That's about it, thank you in advance for your donations.

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August Newsletter - It's my birthday this month!

What is more frightening, the fact that we are are in the eighth month of the year or that I will be firmly in my forties when the month ends? My birthday is the 27th so an ideal present would be to hit that PayPal button and help me to produce top quality entertainment that in return for your generosity will be released into the wilds of the Internet completely free of charge. Maybe you would like to theme your donation around my birthday, for example 41p (a penny for every year I have been alive), £4.10 (10p a year), £41, or even £410 or if you really have money to burn and a philanthropic nature then £4,100. The more money goes in, the higher the quality of my output but I am willing to chuck free stuff at you at no cost to you or myself like this joke. 

Another birthday present you could help me with is with Twitter. By recommending me to your followers I might finally get to remove the word 'underfollowed' from my bio. I am a good example of what a Twitter user should be - a mixture of recommendations, jokes, amusing pictures and comment and so I am bemused by my low numbers. 

As we get to the time of year where I take stock of my life, this year has been good and bad regarding work. The Random Sessions continues despite the fact that some of Nottingham's more established musicians think they are too big to appear, a lot of them are quite forgetful when it comes to the person who first played them on the radio both in the UK and on American radio. However, I am discovering new musicians this way who have the talent to perform totally unplugged and raw. The new generation coming through seem able to respond to messages and not be too twatty so there is hope for the Nottingham music scene after all and it might not disappear up its own self-congratulatory arse. The Sunday Alternative Podcast is still going strong every week, in fact due to the way things fall I will be releasing an episode on my birthday AND the day after because it is a Bank Holiday, my work ethic surely is worth a donation?

To replace my daily written blog I have started to do an irregular video diary on my YouTube, these are knocked up on my phone so I don't expect these to generate donations, but they are interesting and will lead to better things once you have watched them. 

At the moment I am laying the groundwork for a documentary about breakfast, an area that regular readers and followers will know is an area of my life I am very fond of. This may or may not lead to a regular series of reviews, which I might as well do due to my invisibility to the mainstream media in Nottingham meaning that I don't seem likely to be offered a paid gig doing this. (Or true to tradition, they will get someone to do it who knows nothing about it, a bit like when the local paper wants an opinion relating to music and they ask Mark 'literally' Del). Also in the pipeline is a series about proper pubs that I am going to present with my dad, which will be fun to do as he is the ideal person to go to the pub with and shares my disdain for the ridiculous when it comes to food and drink. 

These things will be done on the cheap, but hopefully your enjoyment of them will encourage a donation to pay for more ambitious projects. There are still a lot of things waiting to be made that you are holding up so please give generously. Did I mention that it's my birthday soon?

Also, although it is happening slowly due to conflicting schedules I am about to help co-write a political comedy drama pilot and even more slowly film a half hour comedy sketch show. 

Don't forget to share this newsletter on your social platforms and follow me on the below ones. Most of all though, thank you for reading this and thanks in advance for your generous birthday gift.

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July Newsletter

Here we are in July already when thoughts of course turn to Christmas, well it does in this crazy business at least. I am going to be pretty much working flat out over the festive period and here is my list of things to look forward to:

A Christmas Carol

I have recently recorded the abridged public reading used by Charles Dickens himself to form a musical collaboration with Mark Rolfe (of the Nottingham band Lorna). We are releasing this as an album and will be doing a handful of live performances. 

Charles Dickens Christmas Storytelling

I am still taking bookings and so far have the following dates confirmed:

Malt Cross, Nottingham: Sundays December 3rd, 10th and 17th. All shows 2pm (there will be a door charge to be announced)

Beamish Museum, County Durham: Thursdays and Fridays, December 7th, 8th, 14th, 15th, 21st and 22nd. Shows are I think 5pm starts but details will be announced nearer the time. 

Audio Books

I am going audio book crazy this December. Some are already recorded and some are not, but this Christmas my Bandcamp page will be bursting with festive goodness; Christmas Tales (a collection of classic fairy tales), Christmas Day In The Workhouse (depending on some discussions there should also be a filmed version), and The Signalman will all be available.

Kazoo!

Yes, my third album of Christmas favourites performed on kazoo will be released this year, whether you like it or not. In addition to the album I am also releasing a cover of 'Last Christmas' as a tribute to George Michael, this will be released as a stand-alone single.

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But that's not until December!

I will be getting paid for the Dickens gigs which is nice as I am no longer working for free as I don't feel as if I need to any longer so have turned down several things just lately. There comes a point where it just becomes a piss take and I am dead against the current trend for not 'being able' to pay for contributions. I was blocked on Twitter by a website called Hey! What's On Nottingham (which is a glorified blog that seems to think it can join the likes of Nottingham Live and Leftlion who have both dominated the market for years) for responding to their tweet advertising for reviewers by asking how much they pay. No conversation, just blocked. Nottingham Live don't pay but they also don't carry adverts or make money, the owner and editor are friends too so I don't mind. Also, they don't ask me to do anything these days. 

It is strictly on my own terms that I put work out for free because I am proud of the things I produce and put out for little reward. The Sunday Alternative goes out once a week plus a Bank Holiday Monday episode, I listen to EVERY song I am sent myself, I record it at home in my office and upload it all by myself for no money. The only recompense I receive is by donations using the PayPal button. The Random Sessions also goes out for free and we do it for fun. I film one or two sessions a week and with my dad's help we put out an episode every Saturday. 

We are now in July and although creatively I am doing pretty well but I am of course still not happy as there are things still waiting to be made which I need a budget for. The time has come to really pull our fingers out and work together so please make a donation using the button above. All the money goes into making short films, documentaries, comedy sketches and more and in return for your financial assistance I will make the finished product available for free online. I am getting sick of the same things appearing on my to-do list for the year and this has to change. 

Please make a donation now, use the PayPal button above and help to entertain the whole world.

Thank you.

Other news

I fell out of love with writing a daily blog but have now started making video diaries and putting them on my YouTube channel alongside The Random Sessions. My YouTube is one of the links below.

That is all. Please share this newsletter via your social media outlets.

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June Newsletter

How did it get to be June already? While I have a lot keeping me occupied at the moment I am still a little disappointed when I check my PalPal account. There is plenty to be keeping me going and potential for some paid projects as well as things that will bring in money albeit not regular. Of course this is good because it will help me feel better about all the free stuff I do but I am still limited to an extent because I need financial assistance for some of the bigger projects. 

I gave you a month off from this newsletter so now it is very important that the coffers get topped up. The more money that goes in, the more you get out. It is vital that you remember that I don't put any of the money in my pocket, it all goes towards helping to create films, podcasts, comedy sketches and documentaries. In return for your generosity I will release all these finished products for free online, either on YouTube or elsewhere. 

There are several silent movies I would like to make and these won't cost a fortune but obviously need some input. The same goes for the comedy sketches, some are quite ambitious yet there are some that I will intentionally be filming on my phone to give them a feeling of intimacy and urgency. 

Projects that need your help

The Paper Thin Blue Line: A short thriller made in the style of Alfred Hitchcock featuring the cardboard cut out police officers you see in cheap and cheerful shops. I still need a bit of a financial push for this although the script is ready.

An as yet unnamed local history film which might be a bit Nottingham-centric for a lot of people to fully appreciate but should still be a charming glimpse into the city landscape of the early 20th century. 

Ongoing news

The Random Sessions returns to action on Wednesday May 31st as the first filming date after a two week break to get caught up. Now that there's a small backlog there should be an episode out every Saturday. Anyone interested in performing just get in touch, the format is three covers and an original with no amp and no microphone. I am also filming David Bowie covers for a special episode to go out on January 8th and Christmas songs for the special in December.

Nobody makes money from The Random Sessions, so please give generously.

There are still copies of The Random Saturday Sessions CD available for £5. Once these have all gone I will share the money with the acts who are featured on it. All you need to do is hit the PayPal button above and write 'CD' in the message bit along with your address. 

The Sunday Alternative Podcast is still going, at the time of writing I had just released episode 148. Imagine how cool it would be if loads of people donated £1.50 on Sunday 11th June to commemorate the 150th episode at 1p each? It would be even cooler if lots of people gave more of course as it all goes towards entertaining you.

Definite projects 

I am currently collaborating on a new stage version of A Christmas Carol, have recorded three tracks already for a third Christmas kazoo album, and will be recording a couple of new Christmas audio books to download. 

While on the subject of A Christmas Carol, have a look at this page for information on bookings this festive season, you have to plan ahead in this game.

That's all for now I think, don't forget to donate before the month progresses because the month and the money don't always move along together. 

Follow me on Twitter here (where I am still inexplicably underfollowed, it really is me but do not want to be verified due to the cheapening of the blue tick system that has seen it handed out like sweets to the wrong type of people).

Follow me on Facebook here.

I have just joined Instagram. I am 40 years old. Follow me here.

April Newsletter

The Hop Merchant, the new home of The Random Sessions just in case the blue plaque brigade are interested.

I am a little disappointed in how much of a slog March has been with regards to raising funds. In the March newsletter I wrote that I needed the not exactly princely sum of £300 to spend creating a film homage to Alfred Hitchcock. Although I didn't reach that small target there is enough in the kitty to go ahead and make the film, and as with all of my work it will be released online totally free of charge. It appears that people still haven't quite grasped the concept of what I am trying to achieve. In return for your donations (and many grateful thanks to those who have donated) I use the money to create and not a penny of it goes into my pocket. It is certainly more value for money than the TV Licence and Council Tax put together but you pay that without moaning, okay so it is the law but you don't get back out what you put in. At the moment I am trying to sort through my projects and filter out the ones that aren't going to cost too much money because I don't want to be not doing anything.

So please remember this, the more you put in the more you get. The more money that gets donated, the more creative and ambitious I can be. Not one penny is wasted, it all goes on legitimate costs involved in making things to entertain you with.

How about having one less drink on Friday and Saturday night and donating the price of that drink to the PayPal? If a pint is on average £3.50 then it isn't a massive dent in your funds but the more people who do it the better the results will be.

In regular news, The Sunday Alternative Podcast continues weekly for free and showcases the best in new music. It is released as close to Sunday lunchtime as I can manage and is usually recorded during the week, although I do occasionally not have time and end up doing it on Saturday or even Sunday. Coming up this month there will be an extra episode because I do one on Bank Holiday Mondays.

The Random Sessions is back in full swing now with a change of format and (hopefully) a new home at The Hop Merchant in Nottingham. Episodes will start to appear every Saturday so keep an eye on my (still inexplicably underfollowed) Twitter account and the series Facebook page, which for now still carries the word 'Saturday' as Facebook don't make changing details easy. In addition to the video series there is also the monthly audio podcast, and of course these come to you free of charge.

The Random Sessions CD is still available to buy for a fiver and all the money is shared out between the artists. No money has been shared out yet because it isn't worth giving out pennies so once they're all sold everyone gets paid. Just hit the PayPal button and type 'CD please' in the notes with your address.

Most importantly of all, please donate and share this newsletter with your friends on social media.

March Newsletter

March already eh? Where is the time going? 2017 has not been a golden year for donations so I have been stalled in my attempts to get a lot done. Surely the Christmas debts are under control now so let's get together and make great entertainment. Please remember that not one penny of the donated money goes into my pocket, it is all used to create short films (long ones too if the bunce keeps rolling), documentaries, podcasts and comedy sketches that in return for your generosity will be released online completely free of charge.

Sadly I am having some family issues at the moment that is stalling things even further but I am going to try my best to film a comedy short in the next week or so. This will cost very little to make and edit as for effect it has to be filmed on my phone, as a homage to Arron Crascall and his style of sketch. I also have a final bit of filming and work to do on a local history short film that again will not cost much but of course will be available on my YouTube channel for all to enjoy. In addition to this, I have six episodes of The Random Sessions that have not yet been released but I will be trying to prepare. The next episode of the Random Sessions podcast will feature some as yet unreleased tracks. In among my archive I have found some usable footage from the gigs I did at The Maze and some from the last two Hockley Hustles that need a bit of work but could see the light of day on YouTube. 

I still waiting to hear back regarding permission to film a pilot edition of a Pop Quiz tribute. I'm not sure if the BBC or Mike Read still own (or ever owned) the rights to the format so I thought it best to ask. If permission is granted then that will be the next big thing I work on. Other than that, just take a look at last month's newsletter to see what else I need funding for.

Let's make an effort to raise £300 to enable me to buy some cardboard police officers (like you see in shops to deter shoplifters) and film a short comedy thriller in the vein of Hitchcock. I am keen to get working on this and can guarantee that you will love it and want to share it with everyone you know. This month's newsletter is really your chance to redeem yourselves by helping to make this happen so please give what you can as it is for everyone's benefit. Once the money is raised by the end of March, I will commence work.

Bullet Points

• The Sunday Alternative Podcast is released every Sunday free of charge, the page is here and you can follow the podcast on both Twitter and Facebook.
• The Random Sessions Podcast is released on the last Saturday of the month free of charge, the page is here and you can follow the podcast/video series on Facebook and YouTube.
• A range of audio-books is available from my Bandcamp page, mostly Christmas related but there is also Bowie Day which is my debut work of fiction. You can see how I came up with the idea here. Again, all of the money from the downloads goes into the creative pot to fund future projects.
• You can buy stuff from here which also helps.
• I am available for paid engagements, have a look here.

That's all for now, don't forget to help towards the £300 target and I'll be able to start filming something that I know is going to be brilliant, even if I say so myself.

Follow me on Twitter where I hope one day to lose the inexplicable word 'underfollowed' from my bio and like me on Facebook where I even more inexplicably underfollowed than on Twitter. It really is me even though there's no verification blue tick, and I don't want one, they dish them out willy-nilly to people who shouldn't have them so the whole thing is cheapened.

Happy New -sletter!

I have delayed the publication of this newsletter on purpose because everyone is skint after Christmas and today is the first payday heralding the end of the longest month. Donations were a bit thin during 2016 so this year we need to work together and improve the situation so that things can be made. It is worth remembering of course that all the money that comes in from the donations using the PayPal button above will be used to create all manner of projects (podcasts, documentaries, comedy sketches, short films) which in return for your generosity will be released online totally free of charge.

With your help 2017 could be a good one so please remember that tonight is Friday night, you are back in funds so let's go for it. If you have one less drink tonight (and/or tomorrow night) and donate the price of the drink then that's a good start. 

If you make a donation of £3.65 right now, then you will be paying me a wage of 1p a day to entertain you, your TV licence doesn't provide that much value. 

Projects that need funding

I am hoping to make a short Alfred Hitchcock style thriller with a comedy tinge using the cardboard police officers used in shops to deter theft. I have looked online and for ten identical cut-outs I will need £300 to start with and hopefully be able to use the minimal budget for the actual filming. 

Saturday Breakfast

This has been on the back-burner for far too long. I need £500 to create a pilot episode which will be used as a pitch video to raise the funds to make a series. This pilot will be half an hour long and incorporate a live band, interview and a recipe for a hot breakfast meal. 

Wooly & Worth

Another one that has been on ice for too long is this proposed comedy drama that tracks down and talks to the stars of the Woolworths adverts to see how life has treated them since the closure of the popular chain. This could be filmed over an undetermined period of time and released when ready. 

In other news

The Random Sessions

There are five episodes in the can of this, and there will be more to come. I have tinkered with the format a little and will no longer be doing the days out wandering about asking if we can play in shops and cafes. The new Random Sessions (notice the 'Saturday' has been dropped) will be filmed as one-offs and involve the artist doing three of their own originals and one cover. 

The Random Sessions Podcast

Tomorrow (Saturday 28th) sees the first edition of an audio podcast playing the live tracks from the sessions, which will work alongside the video series. This podcast will be monthly and released on the last Saturday. 

Both the video sessions and the audio podcast are free and rely on donations to keep it that way. The video series involves travelling and buying drinks for people in order to produce these videos so please consider this when watching.

The Sunday Alternative Podcast

The weekly podcast of new music continues (at the time of this newsletter we are up to episode 132) and will drop on Sunday lunchtimes with bonus editions on Bank Holidays. I was supposed to do extra editions over Christmas but I didn't have time. This podcast is free and relies on your donations to keep it that way.

There are other projects in the pipeline including a return to radio, a couple of things connected to A Christmas Carol, a tribute to the BBC show Pop Quiz, and a local history type of short film about Nottingham.

Thank you in advance, please realise that you are a big help because you are providing entertainment for the rest of the world.